Monday, October 24, 2005
Superman games over the years have never been real well...super, but EA and Tiburon thought they would take over the whip and take a shot at beating the dead and mutilated horse for a while.
Superman himself is no real gem, he possesses every power DC could come up with on the spot, his weakness is his own home planet(what?), his disguise is a pair of glasses, his disguise is a pair of glasses, his fucking disguise is a pair of glasses! The man wears blue tights with his bright red underwear on the outside. You'll never catch Captain America in his underwear, he'll kick your peeping tom ass. Superman is the joke of all superheroes, he has no side kick because no one wants to get pounded by a man with super strength and speed every night. He is the epitome of the superhero who tried too hard to be super.
Gameinformer poses an amusing concern questioning whether Tiburon can create "the first cool game starring the Man of Steel." I don't care how realistic you make his super bulge look in his super tights, Superman will still be a bad game, there is a curse well deserved on those games. Unless I can see through women's clothing, I will not even bother to rent this abomination made after an excuse for a comic book hero. The exectutive producer of Superman Returns, Chris Gray thought he'd put his two cents in on the game commenting that "Everything in the game should be something heroic and challenging to a degree that only Superman could defeat it. If it's something that Spider-Man can do, or Batman, or even the Incredible Hulk, it's probably not big enough for Superman." Oh no you didn't. Not only did you diss two amazing Marvel characters you put down the only good DC one. You my friend are on the list. What list you might ask? The shit list my dear Chris. With your arrogant words you have roused the very minions of El Diablo. You have angered the Marvel fans and you wouldn't like us when we're angry. I want blood! I want the sacrificial killing of Chris Gray to please the Marvel gods!
Superman Returns is a joke. It will gain alot of hype because it follows the new Superman movie coming out next year and it's on a next gen console. As far as the Superman games being reborn? Yea sure, if you mean eating your own shit and digesting it again, you're right on the money. You weren't good on the Atari 2600 and you'll suck on the Xbox 360.
-Brandon
- 2:12 PM -